make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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