i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
