So drunk, too bad you don't want this
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
