i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we should paint friendship bongs
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