He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
