Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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