That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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