if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
