Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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