then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
