so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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