i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
