Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
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