How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
