He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
