i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
