I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
