At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
