Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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