Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
