I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
