I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
