i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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