saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
