yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
