I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
