Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I deserve this hangover.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
