Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
