I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
