it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
