I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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