Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
