Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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