so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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