that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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