As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
