i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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