y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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