just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
