I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
