Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
