Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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