dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
