On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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