it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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