so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
