dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
