It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
