well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
