I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
