Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
