Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
