why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
