Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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