I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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