Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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